Breastfeeding is probably the most difficult things I’ve ever attempted in my life. While birthing her wasn’t a walk in the park, it was only one day. Between latching problems and supply issues and pumping round the clock, I never imagined something as simple as feeding this tiny human would take over my days and nights - and completely drain me emotionally and mentally. It’s been a roller coaster from the start… latching fine the first try, then the bruising on my right and only feeding from the left, to supplementing with formula due to jaundice, and then figuring out the vast world of bottles and nipple flows. Now armed with nipple shields, a special pillow with a harness, backup formula, and a few successful nursings, I hope to put the pump on hiatus and feed her directly from the source.
The plan changing from just breast to pumping and formula and now to nursing and formula with maybe some pumping, we have not quite figured out what works for her and I just yet. So many times I’ve wanted to give up, for the ease of formula feeding. But there’s a part of me… the part that always knew that someday the big boobs I’ve had since puberty would finally be used for their biological purpose of feeding a child… is not ready to throw in the towel.